Thursday, December 18, 2008

you keep it all in

this is what i'm telling myself to do today.
i put the lyrics down below....


by the Beautiful South

You know your problem
You keep it all in
You know your problem
You keep it all in

Thats right
The conversation we had last night
When all I wanted to do was
Knife you in the heart
I kept it all in

You know your problem
You keep it all in
You know your problem
You keep it all in

Midnight, a husband getting ready to fight
A daughter sleeps alone with the light
Turned on, she hears but
Keeps it all in

Just like that murder in 73
Just like that robbery in 62
With all there things that have happened to me
I kept it all in
Why do you keep on telling me now

You know your problem
You keep it all in
You know your problem
You keep it all in

Thats sweet
That conversation we had last week
When you gagged and bound me up to my seat
Youre right, I do
I keep it all in

Thursday, December 11, 2008

it's fun to discover why people are legends

oh yes, as caro reminds me, it IS fun to discover why people are legends. sure, i've seen cabaret before... and loved it, but c'mon, being in a movie can't be that hard, and cheating is rife. but when i was with my bedridden bf (who's just had a part of his digestive tract removed) watching cable where he was dogsitting the other night, we stumbled onto LIZA WITH A Z. I can't even tell you how great she is in this. I always thought she was just famous because of her mom, but man, she's a show-woman. I called it as a Bob Fosse production in about two minutes, which is a joy. Watch this medley from Cabaret and just breathe in the Liza. with a Z.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I'm sorry I ignored you

I just posted a comment on a blog I really like following, because I like the author's style and the pictures he finds/photoshops. Anyhow, in the off-chance he stops by here, I'd be embarrassed if there was nothing new for him to see. Not to say that the other two of you don't matter, but you're already friends with me and you recognize, or should have recognized, by now, my shortcomings.

Either way, it's okay. Like Lotus Weinstock was quoted via John Cameron Mitchel via Justin Bond via the movie Shortbus, "I used to want to change the world; now I just want to leave the room with a little bit of dignity." That's so true. I was sitting in a meeting this morning, the kind where conversations spiral off into trails of what the original idea was about, and I realized, hey, you gotta loosen up about some things. Like this meeting. Big deal. It's over in thirty minutes, take a deep breath and there you go.

A few weeks ago I was with my paramour and my great friend Caitya and the bf and I got into an argument about how he wanted to hold my hand or have his arm around me, and we were probably in a part of town (gah, I live in NY) where I didn't feel comfortable because I didn't want to get punched and I can be cowardly (not my best trait). In any case, bf turns to my friend and tells her he doesn't understand why I react like this sometimes, and she says right back, "Oh, it makes total sense. He's really uptight." HA! Good to be reminded of these things from time to time, my friends. Being in this relationship (my first!) has been full of first-time experiences for me, including seeing myself in the mirror of another person in a negative light. When I get upset when I ask him to get wine to go with our Chili on a cold November night, he shows up with a
rosé, and I respond by becoming withdrawn and upset: THAT IS ME BEING AN ASSHOLE. And I don't want to act like this, but I don't control my feelings like I want to. It's a challenge to check myself before I wreck myself, as Chowderhead Caro has told me is one of the biggest challenges in her LTR.

Anyway, I already mentioned her name, but you should check out Justin Bond's blog, particularly if you liked him in Shortbus or have ever seen him perform. I love this guy. He puts on these amazingly positive shows and I definitely am always impressed by his accompanist, Our Lady J.

I'll leave you with a very uplifting song we recently saw him perform at Joe's Pub: Tomorrow is the 22nd Century.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

And now for a word from Betty White

You can vote however you like



Oh, to still be wide-eyed and bushy-tailed about our democracy....

My mother, to this day, will never tell anyone how she's voted. "Secret ballot" is her only reply... I think she has our back next Tuesday though... she's a smart lady.

Friday, September 12, 2008

discretion, anyone?

man, i'm so annoyed right now. last night i went to Bburg to take care of one of my favorite little dogs, Goya, at Luna and Vava's place. all was going pretty well- my friend Caitlin had come over and we had shawerma sandwiches from Oasis and relaxed on the roof. the boy was running late, so she had to leave without saying hi to him, so i laid out on the couch and waited... when he came it was nice to see him, he made a sandwich, we talked. he had shaved off his beard, and i'm finally, after four months, getting used to periodically seeing him with no beard. at first i felt like a four year old girl whose father has shaved his mustache and who freaks the fuck out, not able to understand who that strange man is, mommy!

anyhow, i was getting ready for bed, in my skivvies, and i hear a knock at the door. fuck, i'm thinking, is this damn music that the boy put on too loud? the girl on the other side starts talking and D recognizes her voice, so opens the door to a very drunk, very pretty girl who comes right in and starts to jabber on about this and that. she seemed nice enough, and my effusive boyfriend was saying how he "loved her" and how she was "his favorite" blah blah blah. Anyhow, after sending her many cues and clues that I was indeed on my way to bed (kissing the boy, brushing my teeth, laying down on the couch again) I stood up and told her I was going to bed and that it was nice to meet her. About fifteen minutes later my love came into Vava's bed with me after bidding his friend goodbye. Next thing I fucking know, there's someone at the slider door that leads to the roof, and it's Drunkles, telling us that she grabbed the wrong bag. Turns out she had grabbed my work tote instead of hers, so no big deal, the net effect to me is that she delayed my sleep by another five minutes.

Anyhow, this morning I walked Goyita around the block and marvelously, it was slightly cool, delightful northeastern fall weather. I thought to myself, good thing I brought that sweatshirt with me, this velour zip-up my brother gave me for Christmas. When Goya and I get back to the place my sweatshirt- and clean socks- are nowhere to be found... and I start to think that my little late-night visitor might have relieved me of my jacket... and I sent the boy, who was "friends" with her anyhow, upstairs to find out. Lo and behold, he wakes up her roommate and she hands him my sweatshirt. Needless to say, I was PISSED. I guess the girl had already rubbed me the wrong way by delaying my sleep and then not taking any of my clues and then, after I became more assertive with her, still vacillating more, but the way she disappeared my sweatshirt for me really got my goat early this morning.
.....................
I was of course annoyed with the boy for being so friendly to this girl who annoyed me so much, and for my friends for their (perceived) "open door" policy with this person. I talked to Vava and she mentioned that this person "bothered" them a lot and was "always cracked out," so I began to feel better about my impression of what had gone on, when previously I just felt ornery and crotchety. Apparently she lies, so I feel way better about my disliking her, because, due to my Catholic guilt and my mother telling me that no, in fact I did not hate anyone, I felt horrible about disliking a friend of Luna and Vava's, and was passively angry at the bf for liking her so much and being so eager to hang out with her while I wanted to go to bed.

I feel a lot better about the whole thing now.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Country House

I'm going out to Northern Jerze tomorrow with the bf and some friends, to visit Muffin and eat some great food. A typical overnight "in the country" includes arrival, hitting up the supermarket and liquor store (in Jersey, you guys, you can buy beer, wine and liquor in the same store! Can you imagine?), and then going to the compound. If it's nice and hasn't rained, we could play some tennis on the clay court (all those lessons as a preteen paid off... I'm like second seed in the Route 80 tourney!), or take a dip in the pond and take out the canoe. I usually like to sing show tunes whilst canoeing, but my partner in that crime, Tracy Marie, is out in LA being a nanny for a famous Brat Packer. Maybe my boyfree will take her place. At 6pm a bell is rung and all present must make their way to the terrace for a mandatory martini. Brother B makes a marternative of mojitos for those of us who like our drinks sickly sweet. After that Muffin and others make a large feast, which I proceed to eat most of. Then we continue drinking, and make a bonfire to release some more CO2 into the air (hey, I don't have an SUV, so gotta do my part the old fashioned way) and everything like that! Exciting times....

Here's a song that makes me excited, both about my weekend and remembering the days when I used to listen to lots of Bluuuuuurrrrrr:

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Oh it's been so long

I'm a lazy bastard, what do you want from me? Lots has been going on, I'll recap below.

-I has a boyfriend. He's a nice guy from the Deep South who's keeping me on my toes. He looks a little bit like Dick Tracy:

It's been fun as hell because he likes some of the same things I like, such as food and walking around aimlessly. He's also very social. Another thing we have in common is that we both like to see Broadway musicals, which is a gas, because most of my friends here think they're stupid, while I tend to think they form one of the most versatile and entertaining genres out there.

-We went to see Gypsy with the one and only Patti Lupone, a national treasure and Corky's mom. Couldn't take our eyes off her. My one complaint is the staging of "Gotta get a gimmick," which I like to see at full blast with lots of energy. This production cast Electra as a very old, possibly drug addled putain who barely keeps up, while I would have preferred more of a titty-shaking blowout.

-Last weekend we also saw Boeing Boeing, which was hilarious. I thought Christine Baranski was great as the sassy French maid, and the woman who plays the American lover, Kathryn Hahn, was brilliant, with her blocky poses and over the top delivery. I heard some queens during the intermission hissing about some 'over-acting' but hey fellas, this is a farce, I'm pretty sure they're intending to be campy and over-the-top. In any case, the story follows a wealthy American in Paris who has three fiancees, all who are flight attendants whose comings and going can be managed by the airline's time schedules. With the other two being German and Italian, the European stereotypes and accents are out of control, and the comedy is made more fun to watch because it's so physical: lots of jumping, falling, throwing things, etc.


-I have also seen this summer's two stoner movies, The Wackness and Pineapple Express. They were both funny but very different. The Wackness is bittersweet and somewhat sentimental, with hilarious 90s references like the pump-up Reeboks and beepers. It also has Olivia Thirlby, who is very pretty and gives a great performance.
Josh Peck and Olivia Thirlby
The movie gets its title when Thirlby's character tells Peck: "You know what your problem is? You focus on the wackness, while I focus on the dopeness." I have found this saying to be very useful....

Pineapple Express
is from the guys who did Superbad, and has some similar cringeworthy performances, which elicited many laughs. I recommend them both for mindless summer entertainment- they're not going to blow any minds.

-Not blowing any minds either is the new production of Brideshead Revisited. ZZZZZZZ. Don't go to a late show! Too bad they had to make the homosexual character into a complete fop, but it was beautiful to look at.... when I could keep my eyes open. Funny, I assumed that most of the people in the audience were Batman rejects, but only four people out of a full theater walked out!

-Mamma Mia was a lot of fun; most people will probably hate it, but to them I say: Go watch the Olympics or something. Wait, are we allowed to write that word if we don't own the copyright? Joemygod wrote about a silly dispute the Olympic people insisted on having with a Bear club who also use that word (the horror!). Basically, this guy is not allowed to utter the word "Olympic" because some organization owns it, even though:

I was born on a small logging town on the Olympic Peninsula of Washington State at Olympic Memorial Hospital. My family and I enjoyed spending vacations at Olympic National Park, where our favorite spot was the Olympic Hot Springs. I was able to finish high school one year early due to credits earned through Olympic Community College in Bremerton. I then attended college in Olympia, the capital of Washington State since 1889, where I belonged to a club that spent weekends hiking in the Olympic Mountains. I earned my way through college by working at the Olympic Boat Center, knowing more about boats than cars due to my upbringing in this Olympic environment. Upon graduation, I moved to the community of Bellingham, where I lived on Olympic Drive, until I moved near Seattle, where I enjoy having guests stay at its premier hotel, the Olympic Four Seasons.

I'm not even sure if it's legal to complain about the damn Olympics... give me a song and dance any day, friends.

-In other news, Happy Birthday to 220-CARO! I hope you're enjoying the loveliness of Portland, Maine!

-With two weeks left in the summer, make sure you get all those things on your lists completed, even if you have to make like Bossy and do it in a rush.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Let me hear you say oooooh oooh oooooh oooh

Sometimes these songs just pop into your head, and if you're anything like me, it takes about 145 listens on youtube, or until IT cuts me off, to get it out of there. You gotta remember this one, it's from the year 2000. I remember being in the living room of SPREAD THE LOVE and dancing to this jam with my girls Serious and Kittens. It's the same living room where a big group of us watch that year's election get stolen. And the same place we experienced tons of silliness, like using a typewriter to record the goings-on and conversations, which was mario.


I think I'll tell more about SPREAD THE LOVE when I get a chance. For right now, let me hear you say oooh oooh oooh oooh.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Murga p'aqui, murga p'alla

I was over at Vane and Sandi's on Saturday after a *lovely* brunch date, lounging on the roof. Our original plan to sunbathe was derailed by uncooperative weather (we could use a trema on that now, couldn't we?) but Vane adapted to the situation by making some margaritas and putting on some of her fabulous music collection. "La murga" by Hector Colon and Willie Colon came on, which I hadn't heard in a while. Hearing it this weekend finally gave me the impetus to look up the word 'murga' and find out more about the style. But first, "La murga de Panama," without Hector Lavoe but with Colon singing himself. Look at all those trombones! No wonder I like salsa like this so much.


I had first heard of la murga while in Buenos Aires in 2001. I saw some young men beating drums and practicing this jumpy dance in the parks in the Constitucion neighborhood, where our little apartment was. Walking around was my favorite activity, and I covered tons of ground there, which was good because I couldn't eat enough of the queso y cebolla empanadas and churrasco . Once I asked a well-dressed older man what the guys were doing, because it was so peculiar, and he told me something to the effect of 'being unproductive and not working.' It was beautiful to watch these guys practice their jumps and leaps, somewhat reminiscent of capoeira. Indeed, sources say that it evolved from African slaves, much like capoeira in Brasil. It was then developed by lower class Spanish and Italian immigrants, much like the tango (originally danced between men, btw), and then, like tango, was coopted (trema anyone?) by the upper classes.

In subsequent conversations-- one with a taxi driver after seeing another group of guys practicing in a poorer neighborhood near Ezeiza-- I learned that la murga was being used by groups of young people who were resisting the neoliberal policies begun by the military dictatorship in the late 70's and continued to that day that made cans of soda cost $2 while teachers made $200 a month. [I was in Bs.As. in early 2001, months before the economy tanked and during the pegamiento, when the peso was pegged to the dollar. In those days, Buenos Aires was one of the world's most expensive cities.)

In some of the videos on youtube of murgueros you can see the banners of HIJOS, a group of children of the desaparecidos, and some take place during the Thursday protests of the Madres de la Plaza de Mayo, whose children, grandchildren, and relatives were disappeared by the military dictatorship. In any case, la murga has been used in those sorts of public protest, and according to the interwebs, is practiced both in Uruguay and Argentina as a sort of popular street performance during Carnaval. I never saw any murga with the elaborate costumes you'll see in the clip below, but the drumming and kicking is exactly as I remember them. Makes me want to dance! I wonder if there is a murga group in the NY area? [This clip is long, but the first few minutes give you a great idea of the dance]

Friday, May 9, 2008

The Conservation of Natural Resources in the United States

I try to do well by the environment. It's the only one we have! My roommates are impressive recyclers and I'm with them, and I am a big fan of reducing and reusing as well. Usually in the form of arts n crafts or regifting, but really, I care.

As far as conserving natural resources in this country, we have a typical capitalist accumulation point of view, in which we consider our resources to be unlimited and only there for our use. The problem with this point of view is that many of our resources are finite; they're not constantly regenerating. In addition to looking for renewable resources, like wind or sun, we need to do a much better job of conserving what we have.

Which brings me to Micheal Jackson. Why couldn't we have done a better job conserving this natural resource? Why was he allowed to fall into such a state? Why didn't our government intervene to save such a powerhouse of a resource? Just look at this guy, with his pink hat and beautiful voice. Wha happen?


Here's the full song if you want to listen to it on a loop like I'm doing this rainy morning, sans pink hat, avec good drumming:

Friday, May 2, 2008

Oh, Ellen...

Yesterday was an exciting day for this large parrot- I met a woman who I loved watching perform during the 90s, when I was in High School and definitely watching myself a lot of Saturday Night Live. Funny, because recently there was a Chris Farley Celebration Show on the tv when I came home one night and at the end I saw her and shrieked: "Ellen Cleghorne! She was my favorite!" You may not remember her, but I loved watching Zoraida the NBC Page who would harass the guests and Afrocentric Queen Sheniqua, with her big hair wraps.

My friend Sandi invited to be on a panel to offer criticism to undergrad NYU Performance majors, but I had to be late due to extenuating lunch circumstances with some out-of-town friends... which booted me off the panel, but I managed to sneak in and enjoy the performances. First, the students were great, and let's just say I wasn't expecting it to be that good. They all had their theory down and did a good job explaining themselves. Secondly, after the performance was over I was chatting with Ellen and this hot shit lesbian named Karen who was also on the panel, and I told her that she looked like Ellen Cleghorne from SNL. "That is me" she said, and of course I said "No, it's not" and proceeded to argue with her for a few minutes about it, until Karen reminded me that her name was Ellen and she did look like her.

In any case, I calmed down and tried to be cool, which meant I had to forgo telling her she was my favorite, but as Whitney says, it's not right but it's okay. We ended up going to dinner and having a lovely time. That woman is still a riot and it was so much fun to hang out with someone who I had admired for so long, especially during a time when I really was developing my own sense of humor.

This clip sucks, but it's the only one I could really find on youtube. Stop it after :32. Who you gettin loud with?

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Life is full of tough decisions.....


Internet showdown:
Shakira vs. Julieta Venegas
It's a tough call, but everyone comes down on one side of this, I'm sure.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Did you know?

That I haven't been on a plane since 2006? That is crazy talk to me. I'm used to going all over the place, as when I lived in Chicago I went to visit my friend in St. Petersburg FLA twice a year and went to see my family every two months or so. Since moving back to the mass of humanity on the East Coast, now I take a wicked bus/train combo that takes about seven hours (incidentally about the same amount of time it took to fly from Chicago to PVD and then drive home) but can be done at the drop of a hat, at any time of day, with no planning. Plus, it costs like $45 roundtrip. On weekends when I'm broke in New York, it's a great idea to get out of here, because I don't think I've ever spent a weekend here when I've spent that little. So I often do go visit my brothers and parents and dog, but do so these days without air travel.

Oh wait! Here's that dog!


Astute readers will remember that I did indeed leave the country last year, on a lovely trip to Nova Scotia with Caitlin, but we drove.

This is all to say, I need to go somewhere. Both the Federal and NY governments are telling me they're giving me some money back in taxes, and with the Thief-in-Chiefs promise to stimulate the economy, I am going to be able to afford to leave the country on a plane this year! Now I'm entertaining ideas... I'd love to go to see friends in Honduras and Guatemala, which is always a great trip (and Nicaragua is right there...); but I also owe Crystals a trip to Buenos Aires, as well as Tariki a trip to Kingston. The one problem is that I've been to all these places before... which really isn't a problem at all! I can go visit new things in all of these places. I do feel particularly pulled to Latin America right now... and it could be listening to this song on repeat, which I discovered through my girl Julieta Venegas. It's "Sin Documentos" by Los Rodriguez.


Here's Julieta's live version:


Ai ai ai Viva Mexico cabrones!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Thanks

Thanks to everyone who sent on birthday wishes via email, comments, mail, and coming to my party. I really appreciate everyone's wishes and I had a great time seeing and hearing from everyone. You made me feel really loved.

In other news, the weather here in New York has gotten so nice! It's 70 degrees out right now and very sunny. It makes one's mood elevate. Today I went with my new favorite person and another coworker. It was so nice to be outside and people watch along Broadway.

Time to go for a run along the Hudson. Maybe, because it's later in the day, some of the red-tailed hawks will be out. Last time I ran up there I saw some common mergansers, which are beautiful and quite different from the more common mallard ducks. (Now that I'm writing this, I need to say my (luddite conservationist) brother Joao would not like me saying this, as I'm not an expert, so we really can't be sure.)

Monday, April 7, 2008

IKR!

IKR = I know right!?

Use liberally. Let's get this ingrained in everyone's mind. 4realtho!

Expect Nothing

This is a poem that Stella originally turned me onto in High School, and as it turns out, I think of it often.

Expect Nothing
Alice Walker

Expect nothing. Live frugally
On surprise.
become a stranger
To need of pity
Or, if compassion be freely
Given out
Take only enough
Stop short of urge to plead
Then purge away the need.

Wish for nothing larger
Than your own small heart
Or greater than a star;
Tame wild disappointment
With caress unmoved and cold
Make of it a parka
For your soul.

Discover the reason why
So tiny human midget
Exists at all
So scared unwise
But expect nothing. Live frugally
On surprise.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Sapo Verde

Oh hai. Today's mah birthday! I'm entering my mid-late twenties, and I'm thrilled. My life just gets easier as I get older. We kicked off the day with a call at the stroke of midnight with my friend Adela calling from Lima to wish me a happy birthday. Good timing Adela! We had a great chat about her travels in the Southern Cone and in Peru, and her future plans to farm in Northern California. Talking about farming made me miss my days on my friend Anne's farm, which was transitioning to organic at the time. While I don't have the greenest thumb, I learned a lot from Anne and ate very, very well. Muffin sent me to bed with a hug, and I slept rilly rilly well.

I'm looking forward to hanging out tonight with a bunch of friends and having a great time. PS- my crush called me last night...

Here's the Stevie Wonder version of Happy Birthday for you. When I worked in public housing in Chicago, whenever we had a birthday party we always sang this right after singing the "other" version. Clap it out.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Oil Companies

You may or may not be interested in my point of view on oil companies and their CEOs reaping record profits while people on the ground are paying record prices. My first reaction is: Where do these people learn to be so avaricious? My second reaction is best said by the Queen of Hearts: OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!

Attitude Adjustments

This video is of the well-organized Zapatista movement taking over a military base in Chiapas, a state in Southern Mexico bordering on Guatemala. Lately I've been feeling down about power structures and social movements, and thinking that it just doesn't matter what the people think, that those in power and those who are entrenched by the spoils of their avarice will always have the upper hand, as they own not only the means of production but also the military and the police. I've worked with and been a part of social justice movements in the past, and it has proven to be an amazing education not only about politics and history, but also about what's important to me in my own life. For me, Freire's idea of praxis is about living your values. If you don't like multinational control over other countries, you don't buy their products. If you don't like how Wal-Mart has ruined small businesses in rural areas, you don't shop there. If you don't like Coke's politics, you don't buy Coke or Sprite or whatever the hell else they buy and bottle and sell under their labels. I try not to be too self-righteous as I find that repellent in others, but I do try to live the way that I see myself as positively impacting my world and the people around me. In my cyclical way of living and thinking, I'm beginning to get back to seeing grassroots movements as being absolutely critical nodes of resistance to corporate control over the most minute facets of our lives. Could just be the Foucault I've been reading lately, who says that power relations move upwards, and that confronting them in our personal lives is the best way to attack them in the larger structures that seem to control and limit us everyday. Check out this video of indigenous and rural people organized under the Zapatista movement taking over a military base. The only guns I see are held by the (scared shitless) soldiers that are overcome by these men, women, and children. Great scenes at 1:50, 2:40. and 3:20.

New developments

Hi there. So work has been very busy, but calming down, thankfully. I'm very excited about the sunshine and the warmer weather, and those close to me will tell any of you that my mood has improved greatly. If my father lived with me I'm sure I would hear him say "You need an attitude adjustment" more than a few times. My little brother Nemo came to town last weekend on his way from San Francisco de la Montana to the great state of Massachusetts. It was great to see him. We have this wonderful mutual friend named Kitty Kat who is such a doll and comes from a big family as well. Kitty's family is so nice and generous and kind; they always invite me to family functions, making sure that I feel like I have a family in this big mean city.

Before having dinner with them on Saturday night, we had stopped by Stella's in Inwood to have some appetizers, including a lovely aged gouda that we practically fought over. Stella and Kitty are perfect examples of how awesome it is that my three brothers and I share friends. Because we've had stable friendships for so long, and everyone has known one another for all of this time, it's such a beautiful thing that we get along and like each other's friends so much. In brother Nemo's case, some of his friends used to stay with us for what seemed months at a time, so those friends really got integrated into the family scene. I love that when Nemo comes to NY he wants to see all my friends, and I'm equally interested in seeing and enjoying time with his friends. I guess as Bjork would say, all is full of love.

In addition, on Friday I went to Serious Bidness's Sausage Fest, which was loverly. She herself has some great friends, and I had a lovely time ripping apart the rice krispy treat statuette and having tequila and sodas. Happy birthday dollface!

Date/ Crush Update

Hello dear readers! Thanks for bearing with me as I ignored you for so so long. Anyhow, a short update on how the date went: it didn't! Turns out I've crushed on a very complicated creature, who just got out of a bad relationship. I'll keep you kittens updated as things progress, but for now, we'll continue talking on Monday nights, and I'll continue to crush on him. But, when it comes down to it, I can't project my wants and desires onto someone else, because that's not fair. That would take away all his agency in the situation and make him into an object. And that's not how we do things, or want to do things, over here in hotchowlandia.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Kittens told me last night that my piece of shit blog sucks, so I’m going to go ahead and open up for everyone on the damn internet for her sake, so I don’t bore the fuck out of her any longer.

I have a mad crush right now, and I’ll tell you as much as my adolescent mind will allow before I feel like I’ll “jinx” it. He’s a cute guy I met three weeks ago where I volunteer, and after spending twenty minutes talking with him last week, I asked him out for a drink. Man, this guy is attractive to me. He’s from Mexico, tall and slender, shaved head and nice eyebrows, a break from my normal attraction to tall and beefy guys. He told me he was shy, which made my cold heart flutter, and that he loves animals. Basically he gets a rise out of me every time I see or talk to him, which could be a function of my libido waking up from its hibernation, or a sign that I really dig this guy.

So now we come to the part where I confess to you that I hate dating, due to my wild insecurities and past inability to succeed in said realm. It’s just not fun for me to go out with new guys I’m interested in, because I just don’t feel natural, don’t know the games, don’t know how to act, in a way. I put incredible amounts of pressure on myself to portray myself in the best light and try to figure out what the other person is thinking, what they want, why they’re here, if they’re really attracted to me, if I shouldn’t have just said that, should I get another beer? And if I get a good vibe, I show too much interest up front and scare ‘em away. Basically, I want to skip all that and wake up next to someone who wants to hear all about what I’m thinking and when he doesn’t just covers my mouth with his.

In any case, I’m looking forward to seeing this guy Sunday night—although the anticipation is kinda killing me. I’m trying to keep in mind at every turn that this guy (or any guy) isn’t going to be the answer to all my problems, isn’t going to “fix” the things that I’m working on. Putting that kind of pressure on him is unreasonable. My hope is just to enjoy myself and get to know him better.

Anyone know anywhere good for a not-fancy but not-divey date?

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Stuck in my head: One last love song

Walking around work I starting humming, then singing this song. It was like I was back in the piano bar, with people coming up and tipping me and everything. I'm taking this show on the road. On the youtube there are some clips from the show I saw of the Beautiful South a few years back at the Park West in Chitown, but this one has far better sound. Enjoy!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Meal ticket: Last.fm edition

I've been listening to last.fm lately, and while I'm sure I'm one of the last to jump on board, it's been a lovely ride through the annals of French pop. I started the journey in typical fashion, ie not knowing what to do, so I typed in Mano Negra and starting listening to all the 'similar artists', which gave me access to some old friends I met at RFI and new groups I had never heard of.

Here's a picture of Julieta Venegas and Caetano Veloso for you, which I lifted from Julieta's myspace page. In the caption she writes: Caetano, es lo maximo!!!! She was so excited to meet him, natch. She could hardly be cuter, good people.


So here's a video of her being wicked cute. GREAT group dance happening here. Let me know if you want to get together and learn it for the upcoming talent show! This song is not her newest but it's lovely and was filmed in Argentina.


Also in the video is Anita Tijoux, from the Chilean hip hop group Makiza, who were so good back in the fin de siècle. I'm going to make it easy for you to remember:

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

oh wait, you haven't had enough?

Here's the other one... kirsty MacColl is the greatest. You earned it, baby.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Here's the video I was looking for. Billy Bragg sings "A New England" to adoring fans. He's wearing an ACT-UP! t-shirt in this video from 1991. The Wikipedia says he's an outspoken opponent of fascism, racism, homophobia, and sexism. He still looks good, btw.

So I went a searching on the webs for a video of "A New England" by, say, Kirsty MacColl or Billy Bragg, and I came up with P-Unit's "Tea Partay", weirdly rapping about the motherland. (Nothing like a tea party on the Cape, let me tell you.) What I learned from this video is that Cape Cod keeps it reals. Word. When I finally got to the end I realized that this is a Smirnoff commercial. Please drink responsibly.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Upside Down...

Here's Diana Ross and special friend singing and dancing! to "Upside Down". It's a live video with lots of excitement. If you avoid strobe lights, do yourself a favor and avoid this video. Diana looks unbelievable and is obvs having a wonderful time. And the special guest! How cute! I had forgotten what he was working with at the time. I like how he snatches the mike from Diana. I also like how we share the leg lift as part of our dance routine.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Tie Me Up!

Here's a picture of Rossy De Palma at Paris Fashion Week.


You may not know her from Almodovar movies such as Law of Desire, Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown, and Kika. Kika is not included in the recent VIVA PEDRO boxed set, but it's a psychodrama like only Ally Almodovar can do. Plus, it has Victoria Abril, who's always great, especially in ATAME, which IS NOT AVAILABLE ON DVD. WTF? [Rossy de Palma gets her name from Rosa, her first name, and her hometown, Palma de Mallorca. It's also said that she has the "face of a Picasso" in Spain. She's worked for years as a model and actress, and now she lives in France.]


My favorite Almodovar movie, Atame is a great film about this guy Ricky (Antonio Banderas) who gets released from the mental institute, falls in love with a B-movie actress (Victoria Abril) and holds her hostage in her apartment. Every time he leaves her alone, he ties her up. Towards the end, as they get to know one another, she begins to ask him to tie her up when he leaves, volunteering herself. This is her:



Her sister, the seriously hilarious Loles Leon, oh wait...
this is her:


There are some really great moments in this film. One I especially like is when Victoria asks Loles what she should wear to some party (uh, it's been a minute) and Loles responds, "algo sexi, pero sin complicaciones"... you know, something sexy, but without complications. Clearly, my dear.

Another great moment is in the final scene, when [somewhat of a spoiler but I'm not tellin you much], after much drama and excitement, Banderas, Abril, and Leon drive away in their little European shitbox singing "Resistire", ["I will survive"] by the Duo Dinamico. It's a precious scene, especially for a movie about Stockholm Syndrome. [Antonino's looking fresh faced and foxy, no?]