hey girl i'm in houston

Sometimes this blog is just one more thing that I don't get around to doing- like paying my phone bill and going for a run. But I'm ditching that attitude and I'm just going to let it come when it comes and stop being so...judgmental of myself?

This blog originally started out about condiments- I had started it in a fit of silly ecstasy and glee in the summer, went to Canadia, and wasn't to post again for a few months or so... I then found the condiment theme to be restricting, so I changed it up. This has always been a problem of mine in some way, like my eternal struggle that I should have one journal for writing about my thoughts and feelings, and anything else-- to-do-lists, writings about other stuff-- would have its own space. I posted on and off, and enjoy it. But it can't be one more thing that hangs over my head. C'est pas grave, right?

In any case, I began this blog partly because I became fascinated with the blogs I was reading at the time, and an interest in the medium. As I clicked on links through many people's lives and musings, I started to think about the ways that I was witnessing communities of people communicating and forming. A lot of the guys I read were like no one else I knew; a look into a world hidden to me, but right there for everyone to read on the internet.

Blogs had been on my radar since I had first seen my long-time friend KP's, who started his in 2000 (that's right, betches) and documented his transition. During the 2004 presidential race I remember hearing from K8's mom about the influence blogs were having. There's a guy who studies blogging where I work. He says that there is usually a time when people get their bearings and observe, and then a period when they get into a stride, post a lot, comment, and communities form. In our one conversation about this topic he told me this and showed me some interesting articles.

I like that I can put videos and songs on here, so that's what I do. I usually post the songs I listen to fifteen times in a row at my job. The internet is fun. There's all sorts of people doing all sorts of things for different reasons on this piece, and it's good to be one of them. I post so infrequently and I would have to assume that it's my friends and my friends alone who [would ever think this was interesting enough to] read this, and that's fine with me.

Here's this one girl who loves the internets too, with some holiday cheer for ya.

Our Town

What a nice Thanksgiving. I relaxed at my parents' for almost a week and it was so nice and slow. To illustrate: On Saturday night, I called my friends Anne and Alex to see when they wanted me to come over. Turns out, as Alex explained to me, Anne was tired and they were heading to bed. It was 6:00 pm, Eastern Standard Time. I had already eaten dinner and my friends were in bed.

I took out the car and drove around in the utter dark. Not having spent a night out of the city since August made me appreciate how bucolic my hometown is. It never really gets dark in NY, which highlighted how dark it really got out there. No streetlights, and the headlights on my Dad's car hardly put a dent in the dense dark. While driving I heard a set of Iris Dement on a radio station from Rhode Island, and it was beautiful. Had heard her name a bunch but never heard her warble before. And what a pretty warble it is.



She also has a nice version of "Let the Mystery Be"

Credit where it's due...

Just wanted to give everyone a look at my lovely friend Kate Sears's beautiful pictures of mashed potatoes in today's Dining In section of the NYTimes. We've been friends for over 10 years and, in addition to being a riot, she's a talented photographer with a great eye. If you've never been on a photo shoot, please know that those wine glasses probably took about 45 minutes to get in exactly the right spot. Those mashed potatoes were probably really good, but I'm certain no one on the shoot ate them. I sure would have tried them had I been there. Once I got to go on a shoot with Kate for a company that makes these amazing stuffed cookies, where I singlehandedly invented the quadruple stuffed Oreo. That shit was goooooooood. Enjoy the preview of good things to come... and some tools to get you there. Or your Mom.

Well what had happened was....

Hey y'all, here at the farm, busting ass in the fields, and wanted to leave you something from Chicago. I've only ever heard this song in Chicago, as it's constantly on the radio, and it was a crowd-pleaser at my last job (not far from the Church where this video was recorded). In the summer it is not uncommon to see grown women jam out to this song in their cars, singing and clapping. Work it out!

Jesus Can Work It Out- Cosmopolitan Church of Prayer, Chicago, IL.

Rinse and Repeat

Hi everyone! Thanks for coming back even though I haven't posted in a while... sometimes things get out of hand for a minute, but here I am! Thanks to all who yelled/commented/glared at me to remind me that I didn't post. Really motivating.

So, last weekend I hosted my friend Kael and his "ex" Natasha at the Petit Palais in Bed-Stuy. It was awesome to see him, and we did the math and figured out that we've been friends for over 20 years (check out his blog for proof and pictures.) The happy non-couple came into town because the lovely Natasha was performing in "LARD: like grease, but thicker" with Big Moves, an amazing group of plus-sized dancers, singers and actresses. I had a great time at the show, which told the story of a medium-sized girl who moves to a new school and just isn't skinny enough to hang with the skinny Dietrons, but isn't meaty enough to fit in with the Fatties. It was really cool to see these girls do their thing, as they moved really well and there were some excellent voices amongst them. Also, they eat burgers, fries, and mac n cheese on stage, which is some great direction if I've ever seen it. Natasha is a blond beauty with lots of sass and a great sense of style, and she brought me some delicious cookies. I appreciated the inclusive attitude of these girls, and many were queer. In fact, there was a marriage proposal at curtain call, and nary a dry eye in the crowd. Let's just say I'm a BIG fan, and yep, that's a fat joke.


So Kael is super popular and kept on running into people he knew here, and judiciously only speaking to some of them, as we were on a mission to buy me some shoes. Omg, shoes! Let's get 'em! As a result, the three of us were channeling Kelly all day long on my search, which is always fun, betch. So at some point during the show Kael asked me if I wanted to see Margaret Cho's show later on that night, because he and another friend who was in town are friends with one of the guys in her Sensuous Woman revue, comedian Ian Harvie. Kael knew Ian from Portland, Maine, where he lives, and he invited us to come to the late show that night. At this point I was jazzed because Margaret Cho is fucking Mario Hilario.

The Sensuous Woman was amazing, practically flawless. It was super queer-oriented and in true burlesque style, the performers seemed to love the hooting and hollering coming from our section. I mean, that show had everything: gay rappers, lots of stripping, the indescribable and incomparable burlesque of the littlest stripper I've ever seen, Selene Luna, a transcomedian, and omg, Kelly! Kelly really broke it down for us, performing "Shoes" and "Let me borrow that top." Actually, Diana Yanez (who's my new favorite) joined her for a Spanish version of Shoes which brought the house down. But really, "MY PUSS" is something you all have to watch right now, you'll die. Just remember: "my puss won the fifa world cup; your puss makes me sneeze and throw up."


It was great to meet Kelly and compliment her on her rack, especially because I had been saying "Let's get 'em!" all fucking day. Thanks to Kael and Naughty Natasha for coming through town, and to Ian Harvie and Margaret Cho for the tickets. If you get a chance, definitely check out the show, betch.

Slippery People

Over the weekend I watched "Stop Making Sense" again. I love this movie, how it starts with David Byrne and a boombox, and the band makes their way onstage one at a time. I was reminded how much I love the lineup here, with the mighty Bernie Worrell (co-founder of P-Funk), and especially the backup singers, Lynn Mabry and Ednah Holt. For me, these ladies really make the song, and its not just because we have very similar dance styles. It's also the high ponytails. I like the dancing at 2:00, and they really break it down with the David at around 2:50.

Good for a laugh

Those of you who know my friend Lulu know she's a veritable laugh riot. She's just so creative, and like your hero, she likes to mix the high and the low to great effect. More of the low, though. Here is a stooopid survey that showed up to (another) social networking site I belong to, but her responses made this rainy morning shine with a little sumpthin sumpthin. I still owe you Beth, totally my fault. Ruv roo!

1) how well are you aquainted with your own colan? ever stick shit up there?
Well, I have always loved pee and poo, but i have intimacy issues, so me and my colon are in counseling.

2) if you were having a masterbatory phone booth fantasy; would it be a glass encased american style phone booth or one of those classy brittish ones?

I think British people have funked up teeth. So obviously, American.

3 )when having relations with persons of the same species do you prefer a. cumming first b.cumming at the same time or c. cumming after your partner?

All of the above
4) when wiping your own ass have you ever got a glob of poo on your hand?

Obviously!

5) earnest or pee wee?

Pee Wee!! HE does creepy things in movie theaters!

6) who do you think would win in a fight malcome x or martin luther king jr?

Well, since I look like Halley Barry and I have a cousin named LArry, I would say X dugh!
7) do you pop baloons primarily on purpose or by axident?

I gotta Axe my moms. But usually by axident

8) have you ever smoked crack? be honest.
yes, I don't trust anyone who hasn't.

9) if you had to listen to one song 24-7 for the rest of your life, which one would it be?
Burn One Down by Ben Harper, also known as Let's get Physical by Olivia Newton john.

10) do you like your nipples to be pinched during coitus?
YEs, of course, what teh hell is coitus?

11) have you ever watched a pro wrestling event on pay per view? (answereing yes does not nescecerily make you white trash)

King of the Ring, Summer SLam and various other events, back when it was WWF.

12) have you ever had sex with me before( me in this case. not the person who originally compose the survey) and if so please describe in vivid detail how it was, if you came, would you do it again, would you recomend me to others, have you since kept me in your thoughts whilst masterbating, if i have a big dick{tight vagina if the person that sent this to you is female} etc.

YEs on all counts... IF I had, otherwise I just have disturbing thoughts.....

13) what is your favorite anything?


14) do you have aids?

Nope, just bandaides. I am stuck on them, cause they are stuck on me.

15) have you ever killed a living creature?

Bugs.... Lots of them... Ok fine.... Crabs....

16) have you ever killed a human being?
no

17) whats the differance?

the skeletal system. Insects, have a hard shell on the outside, there are other various biological differences that I feel are innappropriate to discuss in this forum.

18) have you ever written for a good time call so and so on a public wall?
Yes, sorry to all the little sluts i set up in the Captain Kidd Bathroom.

19) nuber 19 is a statement!
Yes it is! Go Luke!

20) what do you see when you look in the miror?
My body is a Temple.. Well that's what I wish I saw, I usually see Bloody mary.